When I decided to do art it was because I didn't want a job that was just some kind of boring task. I didn't choose art because I was incompetent at everything else. I have always been pretty good at most things. I just wanted to pick a plan for my life that would fulfill two major requirements. The first, is that I needed to be able to do it from home so that I could stay at home with my kids. The second, is that I needed something that I could always enjoy doing no matter how long I do it.
Art is something that I do for me. I love being creative and productive. I genuinely enjoy being able to work away on something that I find interesting. The free form way that art is made works well with the way I function as a stay at home parent. I can pick what I want to make, I can decided how many hours I want to dedicate to it. I get to make all of the decisions. There is nothing that can hold me back.
My art had become my personal time. I know that I still have to be a parent, but it gives me time to listen to my own mind on things. I am lucky that my kid likes his own independant play time during the day. We each get to work on our own stuff. He will build towers, and I will paint. It is relaxing for us to spend afternoons like this. I get to be there for him without stifling him and his own creative experience, all while I get to have my much needed individual time to create.
Everybody has different needs from life and from each other. Because each family and person is different we all have to make decisions that work for us. My art was a decision that worked for me and my family.
When we pick a direction in life we should only have ourselves in mind, then everything else will fall into place. The expectations of others my help us decided what is important to us, but should never decided for us. You pick what works for you, because you have to live this life. Living a life according to another person's expectations or even pace can be just as detrimental as self harm.
I love my family. I grew up in my parent's house living according to their pace, and requirements just like any other child would with their family. I was okay living that way, but now as an adult I have learned that not all of the things that worked for my parents work for me. I have learned that I function at a different pace, and have different needs than they do. They function the way that works best for them, and I am learning to function the way that works best for me. Living someone else's' life will only wear you out. You must live who you are, not who everyone thinks you should be.
We are all individuals, and because of that we have to live as individuals. With different moods, strengths, and weaknesses we cannot live like any other person does.